Do Mom Bloggers Need Thick Skin?


I spend a lot of time reading Twitter and mom blogs and oftentimes I run across lamentations about the competitive spirit of mom blogging. It’s true: there is a lot of competition out there. I want to be completely candid about that. When much is at stake — paid ambassadorships, spokesperson jobs, premium advertising, trips, media recognition, and consulting gigs — then things can turn ugly fairly quickly among those who are striving for the same goals. This isn’t always the case, but human behavior dictates that sometimes competition — the ugly kind, not the nice, friendly kind — flowers. Remember, when this happens: you can’t control others; you can only control yourself.

Does this mean mom bloggers need thick skin in order to reach their goals? Sure. Eventually, the more people know who you are, the greater chance some might not like your style and will gladly let you know about it. That’s OK. You just have to keep doing your thing and move forward. What has helped me over the years is surrounding myself with friends and peers who appreciate me, listen to and critique my ideas, and support my goals.

Above all, be confident in the way you blog and strive to always respect others even in the face of some who might not share the same sentiment.

Here is a list of mom bloggers who are always kind, fair, and helpful. If you don’t know them, get to know them. They’re wonderful!

… and so many, many others.

Your turn! Leave the names and blogs of other mom bloggers who are always kind, fair, and helpful. Let’s show them some love!

56 comments

  1. Great advice, Jennifer. I think when we are confident in ourselves and don’t need approval, we flourish. The financial aspect of it, however, is a bit trickier. I have to believe that there’s enough to go around and may the best mom win! :-)

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  2. I have so many amazing blog hermanas (sisters), but I promise to bring it down to three, err..four, who are just always there unconditionally:

    Carrie F. Weir–http://TikiTikiBlog.com

    Melanie Edwards–http://ModernMami.com

    Silvia Martinez–http://MamaLatinaTips.com

    Angelica Perez–http://ModernFamilia.com

    Got you on my speed dial!

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  3. Scary Mommy has been unbelievably kind and helpful to me as I start a blog. Role Mommy has been a great resource as well. If only everyone were so helpful.

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  4. Thank you Jennifer for the very kind mention. And you are at the top of the list of kind and generous bloggers! I adore all the women you mentioned – especially Kim at Mom in the City and Emily and Cooper at The Motherhood – they are professional, kind and supportive. Surround yourself with givers and the possibilities are endless.

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  5. I agree- mom blogging does require confidence and empathy. I am starting a blog which will address motherhood as a discussion, because there are so many sides of every issue, and the best way to support each other is to listen and try to be understanding! (http://meta-mom.com) It should be up and running in August!

    Sierra at http://childwild.com is wonderful, also.

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  6. Oh, there are so SO many kind and wonderful bloggers out there, yourself included, m’lady ;) Steph from Adventures in Babywearing, Arianne from To Think is to Create, Katja from Skimbaco Lifestyle, Amy from Resourceful Mommy, Melissa from Consumer Queen, Danielle from Extraordinary Mommy, Kelby from TypeAMom, Trisha from MomDot – all wonderful women who are there for their fellow bloggers, reaching out, communicating, teaching, spreading the bloggy love and doing it right and thensome.

    We need not compete with each other, because there truly is plenty enough to go around. We need to be supportive of each other, and work together to help everyone succeed. I find the more I am involved with the community and making it, on a whole, a bigger and better success, the more it seems to rub off back onto me. The saying “Do onto others..” most certainly applies here.

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  7. As is life. There is competition in every field. Ours is just like any other. Hard thing with social media is we are CREATING the rules as we go right now cause it’s bleeding edge kinda stuff. The moms at the front of the pack are pioneers in their field. No matter what there will be bumps in the road, but I have faith that we are all here to stay. ;)

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  8. We could all use thicker skin in most cases. Some things are thrown at us carelessly and some things come our way with the intention of doing some hurt. But, the shame is on the sender and not the receiver. Once in a board meeting, the chairman stood up and ranted about my production for fifteen minutes and he looked at me the entire time. When he finished, he sat down and the moderator looked at me and said, “Dr. do you have a comment.” I stood looked around and said, “OH, was he talking to me?” I can assure you, I made many friends that day.

    Dr M

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  9. Great article. Unfortunatly yes bloggers do need thick skin and I think it is sad. I love to help other bloggers and share tips and contacts! I subscribed to all your suggestions above! It’s sad that bloggers don’t repond or don’t want to share and help. We are not in competition, just all getting through motherhood!

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  10. I’ve always been the believer that if someone else is successful, while I might be envious I don’t resent them but instead sincerely congratulate them. I look to myself on how I can make myself be a better blogger and stand out more.There are those that always want to lay blame elsewhere but we should concentrate on the things we can actually control: ourselves. I also think that some bloggers feel like success (whatever that even means anyway) should happen overnight. In most cases it takes time and a while lot of work to get there. Both Cat Davis from 3 Kids and Us and Kate Marsh Lord from The Shopping Mama are not only dear friends, they are truly good people who celebrate the success of other bloggers and are always willing offer help and advice. I feel so fortunate to have people I can really trust and work with.

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    • Thank you, Emilie. Emilie, one of the kindest most generous bloggers, no people, you will ever meet.

      Thanks for the great post and for reminding everyone that there is value in respecting others and being the bigger person. I agree with Emilie – I can only control myself. I need to work my hardest, try my best and pay it forward to others at every opportunity.

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  11. I was just involved in an event that had 8 of us mom bloggers getting together. These ladies, who have been blogging for MUCH longer than I have, have been so awesome! I’d like to thank Erika specifically for bringing me on board because without her, I wouldn’t have been involved!

    Erika: http://thegirlnextdoorgrowsup.com
    Rachael: http://empoweringmommy.com
    Marybeth: http://www.babygoodbuys.com
    Sarah: http://www.minnesotamamasmusthaves.com/
    That One Mom: http://www.onlyparentchronicles.com/
    Anne: http://alloftheaboveonline.blogspot.com/
    Beth: http://antisupermom.com

    Thank you ladies for your encouragement and for dragging me along! You ROCK!

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  12. It’s a crazy world out there. The question I ask is to what lengths will people go to hurt others.

    My wife has a lovely blog http://www.ourordinarylife.com and her name is Kristin. She also tweets from @ourordinarylife.

    And from what i have seen, i have to agree with you that mom bloggers do need thick skin.

    Del
    @delthedad

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  13. I try to be helpful and fair :) I love talking about blogging, why I blog, how I got started, useful tips I’ve picked up along the way. I’m not looking to get ahead at the expense of anyone else, I think there’s plenty of room in the blogsophere for everyone! Call it karma, call it the Golden Rule, but what you do to other people will come back to you eventually.

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  14. I can name a few right off the top of my head!

    http://www.classymommy.com – Colleen is as sweet in person as she is online

    http://www.mommieswithstyle.com – Whitney has been thoughtful and friendly to me-even BEFORE I joined this ‘mom blog world’.

    http://www.BabyMommaBlog.com – Tara and I started blogging around the same time-yet we didn’t meet till about 6 months ago. She has become one of my closest friends. She is gorgeous on the outside-but on the inside it’s 10times even more beautiful!

    All 3 of those women I’ve seen them not even think twice about the ‘mama drama’. Colleen & Whitney have an amazing business but they don’t ‘flaunt it’ like others I’ve met. They just do their thing – and keep moving forward. They are both crazy talented in so many ways!

    Tara & I talk about the unfortunate situations we’ve come across every once in a while…but don’t think twice about it since our goal is different than most. We are just trying to have fun. Making money would be great-but it’s not worth ‘the kill’ to find it.

    Joey Fortman
    http://www.JoeyFortman.com

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  15. I think that if you write from the heart and believe in what you write, then those who try to knock you down can’t and won’t bother you.
    As a mother with a special needs child, two of my favorite bloggers are Hartley Steiner at http://www.hartleysboys.com and Jess at http://www.adiaryofamom.wordpress.com, Hartley because of her information and commitment to helping others, and Jess because of her honesty and determination to do whatever needed to help her kids. And my new favorite is confessionsofanwmother.blogspot.com because of her amazing writing style and her honesty about being a mother.

    Alysia
    http://trydefyinggravity.wordpress.com/

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  16. Great post. I don’t think I’m familiar with anyone you listed except one. Let’s see… Here are my picks – at least the ones I can think of right now: Lisa at Crazy Adventures in Parenting, Lin at Duck and Wheel with String, Tammy at Mom Knows Everything, Melissa at Frugal Creativity, Henrietta at A Hen’s Nest, Heather at Home to Heather, There are so many more amazing blogging friends…

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  17. This is a wonderful post – we definitely need thick skin! Of course it would be so much simpler if everyone could just try to be drama-free.

    I love the bloggers listed above – some I know and some I don’t, but I hope to get to know them all!

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  18. Great point, Jennifer. I love how you celebrate the opposite of competition by highlighting friendly and helpful bloggers. I loved recognizing a few names on there and I totally agree with The Motherhood and Love that Max.

    I was recently touched by the helpful and collaborative spirit of mom bloggers when I asked friends and acquaintances to help me take a maternity leave by contributing guest posts.

    Helping one another is a win-win. Not only do we do a good deed, but a happy side effect is that we increase our own visibility and reputation.

    Thanks for pointing this out and encouraging this spirit!

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  19. Trisha from MomDot has always been there to agree and disagree respectfully with me and I love her for that. Other then her I honestly haven’t met many bloggers who have “helped” me BUT that isn’t to say they aren’t out there-obvi they are. I am just more of the type that likes to figure things out on my own. Yes- thick skin is a must! I have been a businesswoman since I was 17 so my skins pretty thick already and I have managed to make it through a few attacks! LOL

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  20. I think a good dose of etiquette and common courtesy might be a better idea than thick skin. I didn’t read the other comments but as a true southern girl, I am constantly amazed at the behavior of folks. I honestly shake my heads sometimes and wonder how they made it this far in life without getting punched in the mouth. Oops! That wasn’t very good etiquette or common courtesy was it? Honestly, I think if we just learned to use our manners, we would be a entirely different community.

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  21. Fortunately, I’ve never had a blogger attach the name of their blog to their mud slinging. And I’ve only had one incident of being attacked on the Interweb. I think everyone that comments on my blog is wonderful – too many to list!

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  22. ABSOLUTELY! Mom bloggers do need thick skin. I take it personally when I don’t have many hits or comments on a particular day. Silly, I know, but it is true. I am so passionate about what I write, I think others should be passionate too. When that doesn’t happen, I feel a bit disappointed. Silly, right? I get over it and move on, and the next day is usually better.

    Tina
    Little Tots Big Ideas
    http://www.littletotsbigideas.blogspot.com

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  23. Your list is great! I heartily second Kimberly and Robyn. I know you are too humble to add yourself, but I agree with many others here, YOU SHOULD. You did say we sometimes need to toot our horns right? ;-)

    I would add, in no particular order, (and sorry this is by twitter handle instead of URL’s):

    @alywalansky <-I credit her for giving me the courage to be fearless, and never tiring of my one million questions
    @nadinejolie <- One of the most selfless souls I've met online and we've never met in person! Thanks for the referrals
    @BareFootMomma <-My late night facebook friend!
    @kailani <-Love reading your blog
    @nycgirl0501 <-She SHARES in a way you rarely see nowadays!
    @SingleMamaNYC <-Down to earth!

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  24. Oh my God Jennifer, thank you because I needed this right now. My post was featured on Brazen Careerist this week –

    http://www.brazencareerist.com/2010/07/12/why-style-matters-should-you-even-care

    and of course there were a few ‘contrarian’ comments.

    I initially wanted to address each one of them, but then I eventually decided it was not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it.

    I’ve heard it many times before, but sometimes you just need to experience something firsthand to really learn it. YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYBODY.

    The best thing I got out of this though is that I know I have something to say, and I know I’m getting heard. It’s all uphill from here! =)

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  25. You are so sweet! Of course there will always be “haters” whenever we have/do/are something that someone else aspires to be, so I try to take it all with a grain of salt. Overall though, my experience with other moms who blog have been overwhelmingly positive, helpful and supportive. I just came back from the Yahoo! Mother Board conference and it was amazing how everyone was so open in sharing – about their lives and their businesses.

    Even before that, I have been so encouraged by the amazing supportive women that I have met over the last few years – you, Liz (Mom101), Kelcey (MamaBirdDiaries), Emily (the Motherhood), Maria (BSM Media), Beth (Role Mommy), Michele (formerly Intergrated Mother), Kristina (Moms of Hue), Denene (My Brown Baby), Melanie (Mel A Dramatic Mommy), the whole NYC area mom blogging crew, etc., etc. (I could go on and on.)

    The good, supportive mom bloggers definitely outweigh the meow mix :-) Thanks for the reminder!

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  26. What a great post – I love the idea of celebrating the generosity of this community.

    In addition to the fabulous women you mentioned already, I’d like to add Liz Thompson of http://www.ThisFullHouse.com – She has been my gracious blogging guru for more than six years.

    Kim Moldofsky of http://hormonecoloreddays.blogspot.com/ is also nice and always ready to help another blogger out.

    And I adore Julie Pippert ( http://theartfulflower.blogspot.com/ ).

    Really, there are so many lovely women who write blogs — many more so than the mean girls who get all the press.

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      • Thanks. It’s an honor to see my name here! I’m often hesitant to drop names knowing I will leave someone off the list.

        I like Kim’s reference to the “meow mix.” I’ve certainly seen some of that, but like her, I’ve seen more good than bad.

        I’m grateful to Jory, Lisa and Elisa for BlogHer 2007, which opened up my eyes to the broader conversation amongst bloggers. And if not for Beth Blecherman and Jill Asher and the original Chicago Moms Blog, I may not have joined that conversation. (And I’m pretty sure I’d still be blogging in obscurity if not for them. Sometimes writing for free pays off.) Now that that blog has closed, I’m a managing editor at TheChicagoMoms.com where I hope to mentor a newer group of bloggers as they grow and accomplish great things in the space.

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  27. Great post, and what a fantastic list of women you’ve included! Kim (Mom in the City) and Beth (Role Mommy) have been so supportive and warm toward me. They’ve really made me feel welcome in the NYC mom blogging community!

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  28. Wow! I’m totally going to have to bookmark this. I’ve only been blogging for a few months and most of these blogs are new to me. Melodie @ Breastfeeding Moms Unite, Lauren @ Hobo Mama, Amber@ Strocel.com, and Kate @ Momopoly are all super sweet and helpful!

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  29. Thank you so much for including me in your list, Jennifer! I am honored and humbled.

    Other helpful and kind bloggers I would add:
    * Jo-Lynne (Musings of A Housewife)
    * Steph (Adventures in Babywearing)
    * Colleen (Classy Mommy)
    * Susan & Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)
    * YOU!

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  30. See what I get for being behind on reading blogs – I missed this one until today. You are so thoughtful to include me on your list, I am truly honored to be there and in such good company!

    I truly try to be supportive to everyone and their own styles of blogging and working. It may not be what I would do, but that’s ok. If everyone was like each other the world would be a very boring place for sure!

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  31. Your reply has been posted!

    A thick skin must be developed to progress and perform. You can never get ahead unless you are allowed to move ahead of your obstacles and sometimes that means challenging those who impede your ideas and direction. It is not uncommon for those who you must pass along the trail to fail to move over willingly to let you by.

    I have never used any device to awaken from a night of sleep or even should I be tempted to park in the company parking lot before work and take a ten or fifteen minute snooze. I worked the night shift while going to college and sometimes prior to my full time, night time job after driving sixty five miles to work, I had a moment or two to myself.

    Latter in life, I taught hypnosis training in recreational centers and one of the items on the agenda was how to program your subconscious to awaken precisely at the appointed moment. I also taught how to fall asleep immediately and how to program our dreams. (That is how I first write all of my books)

    I can say I have never needed an alarm clock. Even now, that I have no outside job, I work at home writing for my fans, I awaken, tell myself what time it is, go to the kitchen to make my coffee and sure enough, it is within five minutes of my estimated time.

    Anyone can do it. We all have an internal mind that never sleeps. Many times some of us will be out eating or shopping and someone will look around to make sure there is no clock to be seen and test me by asking me the time. I am usually within five minutes and I assume the rest of the world must be wrong. This even works when I am overseas or traveling between time zones.

    By the way, I never wear a watch either. Having said all this, I must add that we are all different and we have all had different training in life. Some of the paths we have chosen for ourselves and some have been chosen for us, but every facet of our existence has shaped and prodded us into a special person with our own individual talents. There are many things I can’t do as well as you and there are many things you can do better than most others, sometimes it takes each of us a lifetime to find our own special skill or talent.

    The single most important thing i would like to add to this is to remind each of you who are individual and wonderful that everything you do, everything you are has an effect on eternity. Believe it or not, you are helping to put the spin on existence and the decisions you make and the actions you perform has all to do with who we all will become.

    Dr Robert E McGinnis author for over thirty years with the first book In Search Of Paradise relating to the above subject.

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